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Help for Toxic Relationships
Why do we get stuck in them?

by Naomi Mohr

Why is it so easy to get stuck in the same type of relationships from day to day, month to month, and year to year?

Is there a reason we like those toxic relationships?

Why do certain people seem attracted to us? Why are we attracted to the same type of person over and over again?

They tell us it is a lack of completeness.

We tend to choose people who seem to complete our lives or personalities. What we lack - they have. Or so it seems

Lack of completeness

We all have a need to belong. To feel whole. To be a part of something bigger then ourselves.

How can we change past negative behavior patterns?

The first Key is:

1. Transformation has to come from within us!

We have to find a new way of looking at our lives, relationships, and our past. Too often we have tied ourselves to our past and can't seem to think any other way then we've always thought!

No one else can change you - You are the only one who can change you. So let's get on with some helpful hints.


2. Remove yourself from your past.

Break the pattern! Start with self love

First love God with all your heart, soul, and mind

Then learn to love yourself.

Patterns we have seen in our lives have often been unhealthy so we need to create new patterns.

It doesn't matter where you've been or how you feel! You may feel so worthless and so ashamed. It doesn't overwhelm God. There is nothing that the blood of Jesus cannot cover.

God will give purpose to all the years
that have question marks.

               He not only forgives - He forgets,

                                      He releases and restores.

Whatever holds you to your past - God wants to set you free. Don't let your past interfere with your future.

It is possible to live and die
without taking possession of what
God has promised you!

God does not consult your past to determine your future. Yes - you came out of that but . . . ."Behold all things have become new" in Christ Jesus!

God spoke to Abraham, after he cut himself off from Lot.

Lot is an example for us of someone who tied Abraham to his past.

Who in your life is binding you to your past and preventing you from moving ahead?

Those circumstances, friends, failures, memories, that we are so bound to as human beings. That's natural - but God wants us to live in the "Super" natural.

When we leave our past behind, then God

can speak to us about our future.

It took me nearly 7 years to decide to put
the past - in the past - and move into the
future with God's new plan for my life.

I had prayed and prayed for my marriage to be restored, but finally I was willing to quit living in a dream world and I decided to embrace the bright new future God was speaking to me about!

Was it easy? No!
Was it necessary? Yes!

You need to cut yourself off from all that ties you to your past. If you have to change friends - change friends.

If you've got to relocate - relocate. If you've got to not pick up the phone - Don't pick up the phone!

Nothing is more important that leaving your past behind and moving on into the future. Satan would have us stuck in our past - in the failures, in the toxic relationships, in the pain and disappointment - so we can't even see our future!

He calls you from where He is taking you,
not from where you've been.

In other words, God is standing there in your future, beckoning you to come on over to what He has prepared for you.

He is longing to show you why He made you and what significant purpose He has designed for your life. Won't you give Him a chance?

You need to let go of your past and step into the new life God has for you! It may be hard - but oh, it is so worth it!

As long as there is disobedience - people tying you to your past - God cannot speak to you about your future.

Get rid of "Lot" - quit tying yourself to your past.

Don't let your past define your future!

Look around - east, north, south, west - all you can see - you can receive. But you can't receive it unless you can SEE IT!

3. Remove Every Distraction

Whenever God gets ready to bring out of you - what He's put into you - the devil will bring distractions.

The distractions can be people, circumstances, money, activities or anything that draws you from seeking God!

You may have had a dream to do something with your life - something that counts for God - and every time you get close to fulfilling that dream - something happens to distract you!

That is NOT God!

It is a sign that God is trying to bring out of you all the dreams He has put in your life - and Satan is upset! That's fine - he can be upset! It doesn't bother God, and it shouldn't bother you. Just ignore him and let God work in your life!

Don't break your FOCUS.

Distraction destroys purpose.

There have been many times when I could have been distracted by what other people thought I should do with my life. It would have been easier to do what "they" thought I should do with my life then it was to follow the unpopular path God had for me. However . . .

I would have missed all that God had prepared for me if I had let the distractions take over God's purpose for my life! 

Distractions are signposts that God is
getting ready to do something in you.
What has God asked you to do? And what is your answer? I encourage you today to step out with God and put the past in the past and experience all that God has for your life.

 Let's move on into what God has for us TODAY!

Let's pray together:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank you for loving me. Thank you that you have a purpose for creating me - just as I am. Right now I decide to forgive those people who have misunderstood me, mistreated me, and hurt me. I purpose to cooperate with you God. I give you permission to complete the work you've begun in my life. I desire to become all you planned for me to be.

Thank you Lord, Amen!

Father, I agree with each one praying this prayer. I ask you Lord to give them a fresh vision for their life. Would you cover them with your love, and paint upon the billboard of their mind the purpose YOU have for their life. I ask you Lord to remove the distractions in their life. Give them clarity of purpose, purity of heart and right motives, and I release the JOY of the Lord into their life!

 Thank you Lord, Amen!

2007 (c)

If you are not certain that you are a Christian please e-mail me at and I will be happy to pray with you and send you some more information.

At Mohr Ministries we have a vision! To touch women and men for Jesus Christ. Our desire is that you find and fulfill the exciting plan He has for your life. Developing your gifts and finding a place of service will be the most exciting discovery of your life.

Don't give up - God is not finished with you yet!

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Joyfully Serving Jesus! Naomi :-)